is getting candid about his relationship with alcohol, revealing that he once drank as many as 15 beers a day and was intoxicated when he wrote nearly every hit song of his career.
The country star, 30, opened up about his sobriety during a conversation with Matthew McConaughey that was released alongside his latest EP, “Young Manhood and Other Donatable Organs.”
Bryan detailed how his drinking eventually led to severe panic attacks that left him fearing he was going to die.
“When I got in the throes of drinking f—ing 15 beers in a day and I kept going with that cycle, I started getting these really, really severe panic attacks where my whole body went numb, and I thought I was going to have a stroke and die,” he told McConaughey.
“Id curl up for days at a time, and I went to a doctor. And, like I said, I still didnt believe it. I told the doctor, Man, Im just hungover. Im fine. And the doctor was like, No, man. You have a really severe thing going on here.”
Bryan said his doctor diagnosed him with panic disorder and suggested that quitting alcohol could help.
“[My doctor] said, I think you have a pretty bad panic disorder. And if you quit drinking, that might help you a little bit. So I tried it, and I was like, Oh, yeah.”
Before giving up alcohol, Bryan said he relied on drinking to manage his stage fright.
“So I used to get on stage. Heres my routine. I used to think this was the perfect routine. No show could ever go bad if I did this: work out, shower, play my guitar, listen to Bon Iver, drink four beers,” he recalled.
“It eased my pain. All the stage fright I had was gone after I drank three or four beers, and Im like, I can do it. Then I would drink after the show, too.”
Bryan said he would wake up the next day facing another performance and repeat the same cycle.
“Id wake up the next day with another show, and Id think, Well, to get rid of this panic in me, to get rid of this stage fright, theres one choice. Lets do what weve always done,” he said. “Id drink two or three more beers. And I thought I was never going to get out of that. I thought that cycle was forever.”
The singer-songwriter said his managers had questioned whether he had tried performing without alcohol, but he viewed drinking as part of his routine.
“They would always be like, Hey, have you tried not drinking before a show? Like, I cant. Its my routine. Its my lucky socks,” Bryan said.
“For a long time, I danced with that. Years, I danced with that. And it worked, you know. I was playing a good show. I was paying my bills. I was doing everything. I employed 100 or 200 people. I was like, This is fine.”
Bryan said performing sober is more intimidating at first, but ultimately more rewarding.
“I will say now that Ive quit drinking, stages are more scary,” he admitted. “But once I get on stage, its a lot more enjoyable. So much better. It feels like flying. Its more fun. Its the best feeling in the world.”
Bryan said the realization that he was responsible for his own struggles came after years of denial.
“I used to be so terrified of that,” he said of performing sober. “And that denial is what got me there. That denial is what brought me to those panic attacks. I was the issue the whole time.”
The Grammy winner also said he had convinced himself that alcohol was essential to his songwriting process.
“Every hit I ever had, I was pretty much drunk when I made it,” Bryan said. “And so I had the issue of thinking I was never going to have a good song again if I wasnt unde
