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Reading: Kristi Noem devastated by story about her husbands online activities
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Kristi Noem devastated by story about her husbands online activities

Last updated: April 1, 2026 10:19 am
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Kristi Noem devastated by story about her husbands online activities
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Ive had no intention of piling on .

She did a terrible job, especially with ICE and FEMA, seemed obsessed with promoting herself–whether at a Salvadoran prison or on horseback at Mount Rushmore–and President . He probably waited too long, but he did oust her as secretary of Homeland Security. End of story.

Until now.

I know this reeks of gossipy tabloidism, but it directly involves the , what makes it dead serious, it raises the prospect of blackmail. And it follows the romantic rumors that she has dismissed.

The Daily Mail, which has amassed a ton of evidence, reports on the “secret life,” to use that headline-grabbing cliche, of her husband, Bryon Noem.

There are several photos of Bryon Noem, sporting pink hotpants and enormous fake breasts. 

Mail reporters interviewed several “fetish” models who claim to have had an online relationship with Noem, tied to women fantasizing about becoming Barbie dolls with gigantic curves (far eclipsing the actual skinny dolls). Its called “bimbofication.”

The piece says Mr. Noem is said to have paid these women thousands of dollars for their services, sometimes making salacious requests. Ill spare you the unsettling  details.

Kristis reps told the New York Post: “Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.”

The president told the Daily Mail he was surprised to hear the Noem family confirmed the shocking report into his lewd online behavior.

“They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if thats the case, thats too bad,” Trump said in a phone call.

But heres the key part. Noem, says the Mail, made little attempt to conceal the extracurricular activities, giving women her husbands phone number with a voicemail message that identified his business.

The main concern, and the reason this is newsworthy, is that Kristi could have been subjected to blackmail. 

Former CIA officer told the paper, “If a media organization can find this out, you can assume with a high degree of confidence that a hostile intelligence service knows this as well.”

An editor at Glenn Becks The Blaze said, “The entire GOP is full of degenerates, at this point probably more than Dems. And in this case, all of this was known long before she was appointed. It was an insane appointment.”

All right, I think weve all had enough of that.

Lets turn to the new DHS secretary, former senator Markwayne Mullin.

As the New York Times reports, “Mullin has worked toward a less flashy debut: briefing members of Congress on the effects of the government shutdown, attending White House meetings and doing a video talking up the people he now oversees. I think I have the greatest employees working at DHS. ever — I mean that sincerely,” he said in a video.

Mullin still has to manage a that has plummeted in public approval–especially after the killing of two American citizens in Minneapolis. And he largely agrees with Trumps hardline views.

At his confirmation hearing, Mullin said: “My goal in six months is that were not in the lead story every single day. “My goal is for people to understand were out there, were protecting them and were working with them.”

It will be a difficult balancing act – especially since, for the moment, DHS funding is frozen – except for TSA workers, by presidential decree – as the two parties cant agree on a way to resolve the partial government shutdown.

Whats clear is that the Kristi Noem era is over, with a new boss who wants to avoid headlines rather than seek them out.

Footnote:

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